There has been much to think on over the past several weeks.
*One of the first things that I realized was the great blessing of God's unchanging nature. Just as God was loving and kind and in control before we received this diagnosis, he was still those same things afterward. What we knew about our situation had changed. What we knew about God's character had not changed -- and it never will. Yes, I knew before that day that God's character was unchanging; but it was such a great comfort and blessing to be able to think on that attribute of God through all of the emotional weightiness of those first few days.
*Many times, a diagnosis such as this -- Incurable Stage 4 Metastatic Cancer -- is thought to be something that shortens a person's life. I don't see it that way. I believe that God has known before we existed the day we would enter this earth and the day we will depart. I don't believe that this diagnosis changes the day that my husband will depart this earth. I reference this stage of life to being a path. Our lives will bring us each down many different paths. We all have somewhat envisioned what the path for our life will be. No one sets out planning that they will walk the path called Cancer; but that is where God has brought us in life -- and that is all that this diagnosis has changed -- the path that we had envisioned.
*God often does not reveal the 'Why' for our circumstances, but we do have the promise of His grace to go on. We must squelch the questions of 'Why' and focus on what God has for us through this. I desire to learn whatever lessons He has for me, to allow Him to strengthen me, and to glorify Him in whatever lies ahead of me.
*God has given me incredible peace through all of the events recently. I realized early on that having God's peace was a matter of choice. God had given me undeniable peace going into this surgery. Throughout that first afternoon and evening, it kept ringing in my mind, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee." (Isaiah 26:3) As long as I kept my focus on God, I would have His peace. It was a choice. God had initially given me His peace -- He wasn't going to take it away just because we now had an 'unfavorable' diagnosis. His peace was still there for me if only I would choose to accept it.
God's peace has been such a blessing and comfort -- like a soft blanket of love and peace. Some people misunderstand that. They mistake the peace for indifference. I assure you that I am fully connected and deeply impacted by this entire situation. It's just that God's peace has so completely enveloped my spirit. I don't fault those who don't see it that way -- I know it is something that you have to experience in order to understand (to the extent that we can humanly understand it, anyway). This is that 'peace that passeth all understanding', the 'peace in the midst of the storm', and as it has been said, "Sometimes He calms the storm -- other times He simply calms His child." I am so thankful for His peace!