Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Simplicity

This is a point where simplicity is a blessing.

Life lately has been so filled with major life events and big decisions.  Even though some of those decisions are ones that - in the end - only Trent can make, as his wife, I am still a part of those decisions.  I long for simplicity.

Though the past few days haven't been totally uneventful, there have been no major incidents, and no major decisions to make.  For that, I am immensely thankful.  Something most people would consider to be so simple -- a day without major decisions -- has become a huge blessing.  I desire that simplicity, and I am thankful for the days it is a reality.

I am working hard at not letting the 'little' things put me over the edge.  Often, I fail in that area.  I find myself having to ask forgiveness and having to determine - again - to do better in that area.  I am thankful that God is "good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy. . . " (Ps. 86:5) 

One of the things I am doing is giving up some of the small decisions.  I usually don't enjoy making decisions -- especially when the matters are inconsequential.  (My husband loves that fact about me.  Um, yeah, not so much . . . . )  Constantly making small decisions can be very stressful for me when the stress or fatigue level is already high.  Giving up those decisions - along with the right to have an opinion of the outcome - is one of the ways that I am actively trying to lessen the stresses that have been getting to me.

I'm also purposely deciding to give up my feelings on the little things.  Does it really matter if someone takes a picture of me that I don't like?  No, but it can really get to me - if I let it.  Does it matter if my daughter, who is full of 'personality', decides on stripes and mis-matched prints for her clothing for the day?  Not most days; but the more stress or fatigue I'm feeling, the more important it seems.  I'm working really hard on 'letting it go'.  Even things that need to be addressed, I sometimes need to let go (i.e. not let it eat at me) until it is clear that the time is right to address it.

I'm determined to do these things - even though I fail much. I need to get these things in balance. I will keep working toward the goal. 

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