Little by little, I am seeing the confusion return.
Trent sleeps more and more and, at times, is harder to wake from sleep to give him his meds.
Some days, the increasing weakness is very noticeable.
Some of the staff are concerned at what they see, but then they don't know what to think when I tell them that we've been through worse before . . . .
These are the things that are hard to watch. I never know if I am seeing a temporary low or if this is a true decline.
I have no choice but to trust that God has a plan and that He will work it in His time.
As uncertain as each day may feel, it is comforting to know that God holds each moment in His control.
Each day truly is a gift.
There were changes for the kids this week. My sister needed to go home to her own family. I chose to split the kids and put them in homes where I felt they would have the best fit. They weren't sure about my choices when I told them initially, but they are doing well. I miss them. Seeing them for a few minutes each day is not the same as being home with them. I know this is not forever, but it is still hard.
As hard as this phase of life has been, it has also provided opportunities for reflection that I would have been otherwise too busy to take. I don't know if words will ever be able to adequately describe all that life is and has been over the past few months. As I sit here next to Trent, I can focus on the blessings that we often take for granted.
No matter the circumstances, it is beyond any doubt that we are blessed; and I am thankful.