Steps

One step at a time, one day at a time, we are moving forward.

These days are characterized by routines.  It's a good thing.  The routines that have been in place have helped life to feel stable for the kids.  They are doing well.  My youngest still struggles a bit more than the other two.  He is the one who wrestles with insecurity.  It will take a while to rebuild a sense of security with him, but we will get there in time.

I am doing OK, too.  Some days are more difficult than others, but God sustains.  There are days when my mind tries to re-live moments from the past year.  There is a fine line between remembering and re-living.  The latter is not a healthy way to try to live.  God gave me grace to go through those moments.  That grace was for each day as I faced it.  Just as I did then, I need to live each day now with the grace that God gives me specifically crafted for today.  I cannot borrow from the past.

I still feel somewhat unsettled when it comes to finding a new 'fit' in life.  Several of the old 'places' I held are now gone.  I know it will come with time, but it is not easy to feel out of place so often.  I frequently must remind myself that who I am is not defined by what I do or what title I have.  My sense of who I am and where I am in life must be founded in Christ.

This month has gone by quickly.  I've been able, though, to get many details taken care of.  There are more details to which I still need to attend.  There are also decisions I need to make.  There is a part of me that wants to rush forward and just get it all done, but I need to be sure that I'm making the right decisions and taking the right steps.  It is a very different position to be solely responsible for every decision that must be made and every action that is taken.  I am thankful for good counsel.

Through everything that this past year held, and through everything we face now or will face in the future, I have absolute confidence that God has been, is, and will be with us.  To be candid, yes, I do wonder sometimes what God's purpose and plan are for some of the things we have experienced; but that is where faith fits in this scheme of life.  I would love to have all the answers, but that is God's place to choose to reveal them to me - or not.  I don't need to have the answers in order to be able to trust.  Even without knowing His purpose, I can still trust that He has one.

I am looking forward to what God has for us ( and I am trying to be patient ).  God is good, and He works the details of our lives for our good and for His Glory.  My prayer is that I will be submissive to His will, and that His working will be evident in our lives.