Reflections on the Water

It seems as though it happens too often sometimes. . . .

Twice in one week during this past month, a friend had to say their final earthly good-bye to their husband.  Then, another friend had to do the same with her dad.  That same week, we made the decision to begin hospice care for my own dad - and just seven days later, he was gone from us . . . .

I've watched my friends as they have had to walk the path on which God had set them.  I've listened carefully to the things that have been said, knowing well that certain statements are more than the sum of their words.  I've paid attention, too, to the things that weren't being said, because - sometimes - it is those things that speak volumes.

My heart has ached deeply for each one as they have come to every juncture along the way.  I believe there is a different level of empathy  when you have walked a similar path - it gives deeper meaning to the scripture that tells us to 'weep with them that weep.'  (Romans 12:15)  The empathy comes close to being the original feelings from my own journey. . . .  I've had many nights of reduced sleep and many not-so-productive days as my heart has been heavy for my friends and my thoughts and prayers have been focused on them.

There have been points in time where I start to beg God to give people more time -- but more time may mean more suffering.  It is heart-rending to watch someone suffer -- it is equally heart-rending to know that the suffering will only end when they have taken their last breath on Earth and are no longer with us!  Do we desire more time as they suffer or an end to their suffering which means we must say good-bye for now??  Had someone been able to present me with those options, I couldn't have chosen either one.  That is where those two words that I've held onto become so very vital:  Trust and Surrender.

I choose to trust that God has a plan and that His plan is best.  I choose to surrender to His will and His timeline - to surrender my own plans and my own strength.  In those things I can rest.  God can be trusted -- He cannot lie, He is always good, and He never changes.  I can trust Him to work His will in His time.  When I surrender, it saves precious energy.

So instead of begging God for more time, I thank Him for being good and for having a plan and for His way being perfect.  (Psalm 18:30)  I thank Him for His grace and strength that I know He gives to those who choose to trust in Him.

I realize that all sounds very simple and cliche, but as I heard it put once, 'It is simple -- it just isn't easy.'  Simple and easy are two very different things.

I don't want anyone taking those statements and using them against someone else -- Don't tell someone that if they would just trust and surrender, everything would be fine.  Trusting God and surrendering to Him does make it easier  than if we resist Him, but there is no easy  way though any of this!  The reality is that suffering, grief, and loss are HARD !  Going through those things is also exhausting - in every way - and to an extent that words fail to describe.  I was able to see one of my dear friends for just a few minutes the day after her husband's memorial service.  I hugged her, told her I loved her and was praying for her, and then made a comment about words being inadequate.  She responded with, "But the exhaustion runs so very deep!"  Yes - it does.  I remember well - and even as an observer to another's journey, it comes again.

As I spent a weekend sitting with my dad, and in the days following, these thoughts have been foremost once again.  It it a privilege  to get to show care to someone - at any age or stage.  It is so very hard to watch someone's body wear out and fail -- especially when that body has been the 'soul carriage' for someone you love.

Because we live in a fallen world, death is a part of our reality.  We all face death for ourselves and for those around us.  Our only escape from death is after we have crossed over into eternity, having trusted Christ as Savior.  Until then, we will encounter and endure suffering, loss, and grief.  As we trust God and rest in His will, we also experience His love and comfort.

I am grateful for my God who loves me and never changes.  I'm grateful He can be trusted to have a plan and to work things out in His perfect way.  I am grateful that God gives us His presence and comfort as we walk the difficult paths of life. . . .

Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. 

II Corinthians 1:3-4